In my last post, I explained what coaching is and what it isn’t.
So, now that you have a better grasp of what coaching is and its numerous benefits, let’s say you are ready to invest in your happiness and success and want to hire a coach without delay! 😊
But what happens after you hire the coach? What is the typical structure of a coaching engagement? What happens during a coaching session?
In this post, I’ll cover these questions and more so that you understand better what to expect from your time with a coach.
Also, for the purposes of this article, I will only be talking about a typical 1:1 coaching engagement, since group coaching can be a different animal.
The Consultation
Let’s say you’ve done your research and found a coach you think you’d like to work with.
Even before you take out your credit card and try to purchase the coaching package, know this: a lot of coaches will offer – or require that you attend – a consultation or “chemistry session.” These are usually free, and they are important.
Primarily, this is an opportunity for you and the coach to meet each other and get a sense of whether or not you think you can work well together.
Remember in my last article when I said coaching is a partnership? Coaches are just as committed to the success of that partnership as you are, and if there is anything about them that puts you off, makes you feel uncomfortable, or gives you any reason to not want to open up to them, then the coaching relationship won’t work optimally. Going through the consultation will give you a chance to experience the coach’s style (i.e., their energy, how they communicate, etc.) and personality. Some coaches will even offer to coach you right then and there for about 10-20 minutes, so that you can really get a feel for what coaching is like with them.
For example, you might appreciate a coach who is very energetic, direct and blunt, but another person might find that bluntness abrasive or disrespectful and prefer a coach who has a calmer energy and gentler approach. The most important thing is that you choose a coach whose style works for you.
These sessions are also an opportunity for you to ask any questions you have about the coach’s experience, their particular approach or coaching philosophy, which package they recommend for you based on your goals, and pricing (not all coaches will list their prices on their website).
Onboarding
If you had a great experience during the consultation/chemistry session and subsequently purchased a coaching package, your new coach will typically have you complete some onboarding documents. These documents will likely include a contract or coaching agreement, and sometimes a payment agreement.
Some coaches have additional documentation they ask you to review or fill out, such as a questionnaire related to your goals or overall fulfillment in your life. Your answers to these questionnaires help the coach prepare for your first session and can serve as background or a starting point for your first few meetings.
Discovery
Many coaches call their first official session with a client the “Discovery Session.” During Discovery, you and the coach design how you will best work with each other going forward. This can include: reminding you that the sessions are confidential; discussing how you like to be challenged or held accountable; identifying specific “trigger words” or topics that impact you negatively or make you shut down; or explaining your role and responsibilities as a coachee vs. the role and responsibilities of the coach.
During Discovery, you may also have a chance to revisit your goals with your coach, get familiar with some coaching terminology, and even start exploring concepts that will be helpful for the two of you to know in your future meetings. For example, during Discovery you and your coach might begin to identify your Saboteur(s), your Life Purpose, some “allies” within you that you can call upon when you are struggling, your core values, etc. The coach can also take this time to explain in more detail their approach or specific tools they like to use in their coaching (like assessments, worksheets, etc.).
It’s important to note that coaches will approach this first session in different ways and cover different topics. (Even more confusing, some coaches call the initial consultation/chemistry session “Discovery”…!) Just be aware that not all first coaching sessions are the same.
A Discovery Session can take anywhere from one to two hours, or take place over the course of two separate sessions, depending on your coach.
Coaching Sessions
What Do We Talk About?
At the start of each coaching session, you should come prepared with a specific topic on which you want to be coached, as well as an idea of what you want to walk away with at the end of the coaching session.
This topic doesn’t always need to exactly match the bigger goals you discussed with your coach during your consultation meeting or Discovery. It can be anything that is taking up space in your mind at that moment. For example, you may have sought out coaching to help you create more balance in your life, but one day, at the start of a coaching session, you feel acute frustration because you missed a number of workouts that week, and you really want to get to the bottom of why you keep blowing off those workouts. That day, you can absolutely talk about this topic with your coach!
Why is this necessary, you might ask? Why wouldn’t we just stick to the bigger goals I already brought up with my coach when we met? Isn’t it a waste of time to talk about something that isn’t directly related to my overall goals?
Your initial, bigger goals provide a general context for your coaching engagement. However, the challenges we face tend to be connected to similar patterns, beliefs and habits we have that run through numerous areas of our lives. This means that, even if today you want to talk about something that seems completely unrelated to your overall coaching goals, what lies beneath the surface of today’s topic could be very much related to what is making it difficult to reach your bigger goals!
Also, you are a whole person. You are not just the one goal you have at work, the gym, in your personal life, or your finances. Your life includes all these areas and more. Furthermore, you are not just your physical body: you are your mind, emotions and spirit. Coaches coach the Whole You, NOT the problems you have. A coach holds space for your primary goals, the smaller goals or topics you bring to each session, and your ability to dig deep to explore the connections among these topics, who you are right now vs. who you want to be, what habits or beliefs are in place that hold you back, and the strengths and inner resources you have to overcome every challenge and grow as a person.
How Does a Coach…Coach?
Coaches coach mainly by listening intently to you and asking you powerful questions.
Powerful questions provoke deeper self-discovery and thought. Remember, the purpose of coaching is not problem-solving: it is to get you to better understand yourself and your relationship to your problem, so that you can find the best solution for yourself. Therefore, your coach will almost never give you advice or tell you what they think you should do. In fact, during most sessions, you shouldn’t hear from your coach that much at all. YOU will be the one doing most of the talking.
In the meantime, coaches use their intuition to listen for the emotions or beliefs that you are not saying aloud and of which you might not be aware. They will never (or should never) impose on you their own interpretation of what they are sensing; rather, they will simply say it out loud and leave you to interpret it. This is simply another opportunity for you to gain new insights into the behaviors, beliefs or feelings that either hold you back or move you forward.
Coaches will also acknowledge your feelings, successes and failures with zero judgment and a whole lot of encouragement. They will champion you when you need a reminder of your strength and awesomeness. They will be listening for when your insecurities or limiting beliefs are talking, as opposed to your wiser, authentic self, and they will make you aware of it in the moment. They will also challenge you to think and take action outside of your comfort zone, especially if they sense that you are trying to play it safe or resisting going into an area that is uncomfortable – because the discomfort is where growth and breakthroughs actually happen.
Towards the end of a session, your coach may assign you “homework,” so that you can take what you have learned into the real world and work with it. Homework can take many forms, but examples might be: a journal prompt; a request or challenge for you to do something you don’t want to do but know you need to; or for you to take an action step that you believe will move you closer to your goals. (Note: At the start of your next session, it is not uncommon for your coach to check in with you about your homework, how it went, and what more you learned from doing it.)
How Long Does Each Coaching Session Last?
Each coach determines the length of their coaching meetings, but sessions typically range between 30-60 minutes (although one Discovery Session might be anywhere from one to two hours long). It is not unusual for a fully booked coach to offer 55-minute sessions, to give them a little time between clients, or for coaches who work with busy professionals during business hours to offer 30-minute slots.
And if you don’t think a lot can be accomplished in 30 minutes…think again! For a skilled coach, 30 minutes can be plenty of time to evoke change and learning in their client.
Final Session
During the last session of your coaching engagement (some coaches call this “Completion” or “Closing”), you and your coach may take some time to revisit the goals you had at your very first meeting and discuss your progress. You’ll have chance to say, in your own words, what you have learned over the course of your coaching sessions and what your takeaways are. This is an opportunity for you and your coach to celebrate your growth and successes.
During this time, you can also make a decision about whether you want or need more coaching sessions.
Now You Know!
I hope this gives you a better sense of the typical course of a coaching engagement and what to expect from a coaching session.
As I’ve mentioned, coaches may have slightly differing approaches to how they structure their packages and client meetings, but what I have described here is relatively standard. For example, my coaching packages include a 90-minute Discovery Session and a Completion Session, and I do ask that anyone interested in coaching with me schedule a free 45-minute consultation first.
If you have had coaching in the past, do the descriptions in this article match your experience, or were they different? How were they different? Feel free to comment below or contact me.
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