Why just doing more “self-care” won’t fix it, and what will.
Burnout isn’t just about being tired.
It’s not a bad week, a rough project, or needing a vacation.
Burnout is what happens when the way you’re living or the way you are thinking about your circumstances is no longer sustainable. It shows up when you’re giving more than you have — over and over again — with no real space to refill. And often, it doesn’t look like a breakdown. It looks like you still showing up, day after day, pretending everything’s fine while quietly fading inside.
I’ve Experienced Burnout Firsthand.
And in my case, it wasn’t just about work. It was work plus everything else I had on my plate. And it was the emotional drain from just believing that I had to keep toughing it out. From telling myself everything was going to be fine or improve “someday.”
But the craziest part was this:
I didn’t recognize that I was burned out.
I thought I was being lazy.
I thought I wasn’t working hard enough for my job or my family, or to be able to “achieve” the balance I wanted in my life.
I told myself that I needed to push through, push harder, and give more. Because if I didn’t, I would be failing. I would have less value in the world.
That’s one of the more the insidious signs of burnout: Instead of realizing you need a rest, a break, a shift in mindset or your beliefs…you think you are not working hard enough. And it kept me in a miserable cycle for a long time.
I believed so strongly that I should be more productive, stronger, and just plain “better” that when I found I couldn’t push myself anymore, the result was: paralysis. Which in turn made me feel lazier and weaker – and even more drained than I was before.
When you’re stuck in the burnout cycle for an extended period of time, it’s not just your mind and emotional health that are affected. Your body feels it, too, because your mind, emotions and physical self are connected in more ways than you think.
But there are ways to break the cycle. They involve understanding what burnout actually is, identifying the real reason for why you are feeling burned out and unlearning some of the belief patterns that got you there in the first place.
Signs You Might Be Experiencing Burnout
We tend to associate burnout with extremes — collapsing, quitting, breaking down. But the truth is that most people live in a low-grade burnout without realizing it. Here are some common signs:
• You feel emotionally flat or detached, even when things “should” feel good.
• You’re more irritable or reactive than usual.
• You’re always tired, but you can’t seem to rest.
• Even small decisions feel hard.
• You dread things you used to enjoy.
• You feel like you’re failing, even when you’re getting things done.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
The Truth About Burnout (That No One Really Talks About)
Most advice about burnout focuses on surface-level solutions:
Take a bubble bath. Use your vacation days. Eat a vegetable.
There’s nothing wrong with those things — but they’re not enough.
Burnout is not just physical exhaustion — it’s a disconnect from your core needs, driven by a belief system that tells you that your value is tied to your output; that people are depending on you to keep pushing through; that if you stop, everything will collapse around you; or simply that your needs aren’t that important.
It’s your body and mind’s way of saying: This version of “functioning” isn’t working anymore. The beliefs that have brought you to this point are no longer serving you.
At its root, burnout is an imbalance:
• Between giving and receiving
• Between achievement and rest
• Between how you feel and what you allow yourself to express
• Between what you need and what your life is structured to support
What Actually Helps You Recover from Burnout
Burnout recovery is not a one-time “fix.” It’s a shift in how you live, think and relate to yourself.
Here are a few essentials:
1. Permission to Slow Down
You don’t heal from burnout by pushing through it.
You heal by giving yourself permission to pause and consider what you need — without guilt.
2. Presence Over Productivity
Start noticing how often you measure your worth by what you’ve done – or what you have yet to accomplish.
Can you practice being in your life, instead of racing through it?
Can you pause to acknowledge and appreciate small moments as they come up?
3. Meaningful Self-Care
Burnout recovery requires true nourishment — not just treating symptoms.
Consider these four areas of self-care and ask yourself if you are regularly incorporating something from each category into your life, no matter how small:
• Maintenance – your physical health, including daily movement, healthy meals, etc.
• Mindset – presence, meditation, positive perspectives, support for your mental health (which in turn supports your emotional health)
• Moments – being able to engage in activities that recharge your battery and light you up
• Meaning – meaningful connection (with others or with yourself) that reminds you of who you are and your purpose
These aren’t checkboxes — they’re anchors.
4. Redefining “Enough”
You don’t have to earn your rest. You don’t have to justify your needs.
You are allowed to create a life that supports you — not just one you can survive.
You Don’t Need to Be Fixed — You Need to Be Held
Burnout doesn’t mean you’re weak, broken, or bad at managing life.
It means you’ve been strong for too long without support.
It’s not a flaw — it’s a signal. A wise one.
And the beautiful thing is: once you begin to honor that signal, things start to shift.
Your energy, your clarity, your relationships, even your joy — they return.
Not all at once, but steadily. Quietly. Sustainably.
Ready to Reclaim Your Energy?
Start here:
• Browse the Balance is Movement blog post.
• Book a free consultation with me to explore how coaching can help you unlearn the belief patterns that are leading you to burnout and start creating the balanced life you deserve.
• Or just join the mailing list for our newsletter — and I’ll walk alongside you as you start creating a life that supports you!
