What Is Life Coaching?
Do you hear the term “life coach” and wonder, “What exactly is that??”
Does it sound very broad and all-encompassing to you?
Does it even, perhaps, illicit an eyeroll…?
If you have trouble with the term “life coach”, I’ll be honest with you: you’re not the only one. Even some new life coaches — like me — struggle with it sometimes.
But hear me out.
Life coaching sounds broad and all-encompassing because…life is huge. It has so many parts to it (e.g., career, family, relationships, health and wellness, finances, and more). When you think about all these areas of your life, do you feel truly satisfied and fulfilled in all of them? If you do, then congratulations! You are one of very few. Most of us can identify an area or two where we have trouble, or where we feel there is room for improvement.
Now think about the many goals you have in your life. (E.g., living a healthier lifestyle, finding balance, developing more productive habits, becoming a better leader, etc.) Chances are there is at least one goal you are having trouble reaching. Maybe this is because the goal is particularly challenging for you. Maybe you feel stuck in one or more stages of the process. Or maybe you simply don’t know where to start.
Finally, think about a time in your life when you felt lost, stuck, or out of control. Perhaps events in your life were so overwhelming you struggled to keep your head above water. Or maybe you felt like there was something more you were meant to do in your life, but you weren’t sure what.
Do any of the situations above sound familiar?
These are examples of the kinds of challenges life coaches can help with.
If dealing with everything life throws at us or reaching our hearts’ desires were easy to do on our own, we would all be happy and successful beyond our wildest dreams. But we are human beings. Being human can be difficult and messy. It can also be hard to go through the messiness alone. Sometimes it helps to have someone with us during the journey, to get us to dig a little deeper within ourselves, show us another perspective, hold up a mirror to us, and believe in our potential.
Essentially, this is what coaching provides. Coaching is a partnership between a coach and a coachee (or client). The coach creates a safe, secure space for the coachee to deeply self-reflect, imagine the best version of themself and their life, identify what is holding them back from achieving their goals, and ultimately create the best path forward towards their desired future.
A life coach is simply a coach who can help with a wide range of challenges a person may have, in various aspects of their life. Their goal is to help their clients find what will make them feel happy and fulfilled. But at the end of the day, life coaches are just coaches. Therefore, for the purposes of this article, I’ll refer to them simply as “coaches.”
Ok, But What Does a Coach Actually DO?
Think of a coach like a thought partner.
If you are having trouble working through a challenge or reaching a goal, you may have old habits, limiting beliefs, or even an old mindset that are getting in your way. This can make us feel like we have very few options or don’t have control over our own lives. Sometimes, we aren’t even fully aware of these impediments to our success. A coach helps you become more aware so that you can ultimately change your mindset and behaviors.
First and foremost, your coach is always curious about you (the client). Their job is to remain curious and hold the space for your self-discovery so that you can create the success you want. Your coach starts by making you more curious about yourself. They do this through attentive and intuitive listening and asking powerful questions designed to make you really think about what you want, what success will look like for you (and you alone), what holds you back, what steps would move you forward, who and what you have to BE to reach your goals or feel fulfilled, etc. These questions can also make you aware of things you may not have thought of before.
As you think about your answers to the coach’s questions, you will reconnect to your values and priorities and discover whether or not you are honoring those values in how you are currently living. You will come face-to-face with your Saboteurs (i.e., the voices in your head that say you aren’t good enough, you don’t deserve what you want, you have to be perfect all the time, etc.) and learn to recognize when they are the ones talking and not your true, authentic self. You will connect with your own wisdom and inner resources and learn how to leverage them when you need them. It’s amazing how much growth and change is possible when you get a little more curious about yourself!
Through all of this, your coach holds a safe, confidential, and secure place for your self-exploration. This is because the coaching process doesn’t work unless you feel safe and supported enough to be 100% honest with your coach and yourself. You also have to feel secure enough to be uncomfortable, messy, and courageous. It is also critical for your coach to feel safe enough to encourage you to get out of your comfort zone, to say the truth about what they are observing – even when the truth is painful for you to hear –, and to challenge you when they feel you are limiting yourself. If the relationship between you and your coach isn’t strong and trusting, the partnership will be limited in terms of what it can accomplish.
In the meantime, your coach will champion and encourage you, celebrate your wins with you, and always hold you accountable for the progress you want to make (sometimes by giving you “homework assignments,” so that you can further your learning in the real world).
I’ve Heard Some Coaches Have “Niches” – What is a Niche?
Sometimes you may want to have a coach who has expertise in a very specific topic. If that’s the case, you should research coaches who specialize in that area – otherwise known as the coach’s niche.
For example, if you are a business owner, and you have a goal to expand or scale your business, you may want to hire a business coach. Business coaches may use a combination of coaching and consulting (more on the difference later in this article), as well as specific tools or assessments to help you in your business journey. They also may specialize in helping entrepreneurs develop the mindset needed for growth.
You can get super specific with some niches, if you want. For example, are you looking for a business coach whose niche is helping women entrepreneurs scale their businesses? Are you a lawyer and seeking a career coach with a background in helping people in the legal profession? Are you retiring and need a life coach who focuses on helping clients who are transitioning into retirement…? There are so many options with coaching! It all depends on whether or not there is a type of experience, background or expertise you want your coach to have because you feel it would be beneficial to the relationship.
What Coaching ISN’T
Coaching Is NOT Therapy
A lot of people think that coaching is a form of therapy. This is incorrect. It’s important to understand that coaching and therapy are two distinct practices.
The following are a couple of key differences:
– Therapists are professionals who are licensed to treat mental health. A coach is NOT (although there are some coaches who are also licensed therapists). A coach, however, may recommend that their client also see a therapist. By the way, a person can see a therapist and a coach simultaneously…and a lot of people do!
– Therapists typically have you dig deep into past events and trauma to better understand your current behaviors and challenges. Coaching meets you where you are in your life right now. Its purpose is to help you move forward to where you want to be. Trauma or past events may inform the way a person is or behaves in the present, but unlike a therapist a coach will not spend a lot of time exploring the past.
There are some similarities between the two. For example, like therapy, coaching sessions are confidential. Also, coaching can feel therapeutic because you have someone dedicated to listening to you and being there for you in each session.
Just remember that therapy and coaching are two separate things and do not serve the exact same purpose.
Coaching Is NOT Consulting
A trained coach does not give advice when they are coaching.
The whole point of coaching is to help the client find their own solutions to their problems. This way, the client becomes more resilient and resourceful going forwards.
Coaches don’t see you as a problem to be fixed, nor will they solve your problem for you. Instead, coaches believe at all times that you are naturally creative, resourceful, capable and amazing. You already have the best solution to your problem. It’s simply a question of you finding that answer within you. A coach therefore focuses on getting you to be more self-aware and confident in what you can do and achieve.
So if you ask someone to coach you, but they spend a lot of time making suggestions or telling you to do certain things, then they are not actually coaching. They are advising/consulting. Believe me, I know that there are times when we feel so stuck and frustrated that we wish someone would just tell us what to do. There are even times when it makes sense to hear from someone else’s professional expertise and experience. I encourage you, however, to try coaching first. It is so much more empowering in the long run when you work through your discomfort and discover – without being told – a solution that works best for you. THIS is where growth and lasting change can happen.
I should mention that some coaches do offer a combination of coaching and consulting as part of their services. This sometimes depends on the topic or the coach’s niche. For example, one particular group with whom I love working are first-time managers. I love helping them develop their confidence as leaders and sharing best practices for managing their teams. (The first part is coaching; the second is coaching and advising.) What is important is that the coach state very clearly to the client when they are doing what.
Summary
I hope you now understand a little more about what coaching is and isn’t, how it can help you, and what a life coach actually does!
To summarize:
– A life coach is simply a coach who helps with a range of challenges in a person’s life. The underlying goal is for the client to step into the best version of themself and find happiness and fulfillment.
– Coaching is a partnership between a coach and client. The coach uses curiosity, listening, and powerful questions to help the client make new discoveries about themselves. Through this process of self-exploration, the client ultimately finds their own best solutions and path towards achieving their goals.
– It is much more empowering for a client to find their own solutions, rather than having someone tell them what to do because it creates greater self-awareness and resilience in the long run.
– Coaching is not the same as therapy. Therapists are trained and licensed to treat mental health. They also focus on exploring the patient’s past to understand their present state. Coaches are not licensed to treat mental health. They meet clients where they are in the present to help them move into the future they want.
– Coaching is also not the same as advising or consulting. In fact, coaches rarely if ever give advice. Some coaches do offer consulting as one of their services. Even then, however, a coach should be clear with the client when they are coaching and when they are consulting.
If you are ready to take the first step to self-discovery, growth, and a more fulfilled life, check out my 1:1 coaching packages and book a free consultation with me here!
